I will never forget those old winter nights when the family would gather in front of the TV and my moms would put on their favorite porn. I was still in my mid teens, and -God!- my hardons were so strong they hurt. We would all sit huddled on that old warm sofa, order pizza and watch Janine Lindemulder put ice dildos into Julia Ann. Sandy would giggle and point, and she would say that Janine's nipples were too large. Tracy would put her arm around her and kiss her neck and tell her that all the Lindemulders in the world couldn't hold a candle to her.
I remember how they would later retire to their room and make loud moans that sounded like early Jameson/Banks sessions. I would listen in sometimes while finishing my homework. I would jerk off and wonder if I would ever make a woman so happy that she would moan like that.
Some years later Sandy was losing a long battle against breast cancer. Tracy would stay by her bedside and bring her roses, bags of m&m's and squirter DVDs, and they would spend whole nights watching them and debating if Cytherea was for real and how a woman with Flower Tucci's cellulite can have such a successful career in adult cinema. I would visit from college and I would give Sandy framed hentai scenes that I would draw just for her. I would make some of the characters look just like her, back when she still had her long blond hair and looked like Nibbil from Small Favors.
Last week I had the opportunity to visit my surviving mom. Tracy looked so old. She never remarried. She told me that she spent her evenings fast forwarding through the old porn collection, thinking of Sandy and rubbing herself sore. When she came, she said, sometimes she could feel Sandy's hand next to hers on the remote.
As for me, I never did make a woman moan like an XRCO award winner the way my moms used to make each other. And no matter how much I searched, I just never found a girl as great as either of my moms.
The more time passes, the more I think about those distant winter nights, when the world once was new and filled with love. I miss them so much.