Avant-Garde 90s

Piccadilly line rush hour dawning: we apologise for the inconvenience. The train's filled to the brim by Jubilee Line women at Victoria Station, the financial sector's finest: to work and back again with barely time for a stop over at the pub and the Millennium Brit QuickieFlirt, still got it, yeah darling, absolutely fabulous. The doors close shut, sealing everyone in. God please nobody fart, we're going to die like rats down here. Onto Holborn, blue to red, take me away on your steel horse, goodbye Piccadilly, farewell Leicester Square... due to a person under a train in Earl's Court: stop the concerts and they'll stop jumping, no alarms and no surprises please. Hammersmith, Acton, come on come on: next station is Asphyxiation East. This train terminates. I'll get to run out, out of the train, into the fresh Ealing air, I'll be young and beautiful, and sing to the skies, thank you for riding the Piccadilly line. Mind The Gap.

Zap! Sky News tells it like it is: All the facts, cooked using Murdoch's secret recipe for that very special taste you know and love, and when I am a grandfather, I too will give my grandson the gift of Sky News Originals. Mortgage and loan ads, direct line bliss. Oh how I love the jingle on this one, I just want to sing along, how happy they look with their new Vauxhall, Layla! you got me on my knees, Layla! I'm begging baby please! To swim in the clear ocean waters with you and Shell. And cereals: whenever that ad plays I want to eat pussy. I... want... my... HONEY!!! Sloppy milky wet and sweet cheerios, polo mint, the one with the hole, feed me baby. I want it. Oh Kurt, gimme music and I will survive, where the streets have no name. People of the millennium living, no time for breeding, no time for dreaming, lager, lager, lager, mmmbop.

Oh God, just let me get to the Hanger Lane roundabout and slip into suburbia, then I can run and hide in the abandoned Guinness factory. They'll never find me in there, I can live the rest of my life in relative peace and happiness eating fungus off the walls, sleeping in cardboard boxes, talking to pigeons, its really not that bad...